Embrace You: Book (Loneliness) Page 6

  "Hadley residence, Marcus speaking. Yes, officer. If you'll come to the rear gate, I'll let you in."

  Inside the house, the responding officers tell us that they've made the reporters leave. Still...my enjoyment of the sunny day is now ruined. After the police leave, we stay inside and make sure the sheers are securely shut.

  "I think we should leave just the phone connected for instances like this. I hadn't thought of events like this. No voice message machine. We all need our sleep. I'll turn the ringer off. We're only making outgoing calls, not receiving any calls," Marcus decides. I quickly agree and Marcus plugs back in all the phones.

  Our CD is now ready for release! Accordingly, Nigel, our business manager set up big CD release parties in the U.S. and here in the U.K. A press release goes out ahead of the big day, generating publicity and creating buzz so that music lovers would buy our newest release.

  We make plans to attend both release parties. Because the criminal trials for both Cara and Melanie are still a few months away, we are safe to travel. We hire a top-notch security firm to patrol inside and outside the wall of our house to keep snoopy reporters out. Before we leave, we give them instruction to call us if they catch anyone trying to get into the property or house. For this, we buy and activate international cell phones.

  In the U.S. several event planners have created a huge release party. We are set up to perform a few songs from the new CD. My mum goes with us so she can take care of our healthy little girl. Lizzie hasn't begun to walk, but she is definitely mobile!

  The U.S. CD release party is a huge success. Many celebrities, musicians, actors, actresses and film stars are present. We are an international sensation. Everyone who hears us play, love us. Our CD is a big hit, leading to huge sales in music stores and online all throughout the U.S.

  We return to the U.K. and rest for a few days before the U.K. CD release party. There we also have major celebrities and sports stars in attendance. Once both CD release parties are over, our business manager reports that our CD is selling very well - we are already in double-platinum numbers and well on our way to triple-platinum numbers! No doubt, we have arrived musically! I am thrilled! This is everything we have been working so hard toward.

  Now, we focus on our pending European tour, set to begin right after Christmas, when the baby will be one year old. Because of the continuing insistence of the tabloid reporters, the security stills tries to fend them off, both at our house and at the studio. Now we are so well protected, we are able to focus on the music and taking care of our baby.

  Finally, the criminal trials for Cara and Melanie are set to start. They will be held consecutively, so I hope this will speed things up. I don't want Lizzie exposed to the public, so mum and I arrange for her to take care of the baby while I'm in attendance at the trials.

  "Johanna, I will watch the baby like a hawk. She'll stay inside unless I know I can safely take her to the yard while you're out." Mum has offered to drive over here to our house in Saint Albans. She will have the protection of the security detail, which patrols 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

  On the first day of the trial, Cara's attorney alludes to a possible mental health diagnosis, saying that, because she is mentally ill, she should not be convicted of the crimes for which she is charged. Hearing this, I am forced to school my facial expression. Marcus and I know that, if we show any negative emotion, this will make it into the press. For this reason, I look down at my notepad, scribbling notes. Literally! I am drawing musical notes on my notepad! This will help me to present a positive face while in court, more than anything else could. I feel Marcus nudge my ribs. Looking at him, I see a question in his deep-green eyes.

  Do you want to stay?

  Yes, Marcus. I want to be here every day. I need to know what's happening so I can protect you and our little girl.

  Okay. I'll be here with you, too. I'll work at night and on breaks here in court.

  We smile at each other, then face the front of the courtroom.

  During the trial, the barrister prosecuting the case presents evidence that shows how Cara worked to track Marcus down. He calls us both to the stand and takes, first, me through my testimony.

  I describe how I first spotted Cara and alerted Marcus to her presence.

  "What did your husband say about the defendant?"

  "He said he didn't remember her."

  "At what point was he able to remember her?"

  "After we found out that they had attended the same secondary school, he looked through the school's yearbooks. Once he saw her, he vaguely remembered who she was."

  "Did he tell you his impression of her?"

  "Only that he had no memory of who she was or of anything she did in school. He didn't even remember what she studied."

  A few days later, Marcus is on the stand, describing how Cara would find out where we lived at the time, what we drove and what our daily schedule was.

  "My wife was dumping our rubbish in the bin outside when she saw Cara across the street, just staring at our flat."

  I happen to glance over at Cara. The sight makes me go cold all over and shiver. She's staring vacantly at Marcus with her mouth wide open. Nothing else gets her attention, not even when someone drops a pad on the floor.

  "What did you do when she told you she had seen Cara outside?"

  "Made sure the sheers were closed and called my dad. We moved to a temporary place that same day. I was not going to expose my family to anything she might be capable of," Marcus says.

  I sigh in relief. He had promised not to mention the baby and he stuck to that.

  "How did the defendant next track you down?"

  "I was at home - in the temporary place - working. My wife had gone to buy food. She walked out of the shop and saw her - the defendant - across the street, just watching our car. She had managed to find out what we drive," Marcus said.

  "How did she do that?"

  "She waited down the street for us to get into the car, then she would follow us."

  "I want to talk about the day your child was almost kidnapped. Would you take us through that day?"

  This is where things get really dicey for us. We don't want to mention Lizzie's name, so we have decided we would just say, "baby" or "child."

  "I had decided to start driving my wife and our child to the group's practice studio. It is safer that way. We got to the studio and they were practicing. I was set up in a corner with...the baby's play pen set next to my table. My wife had just finished feeding the baby and changing her nappy. Shortly after she put her into her play pen, I got a call from a client who was trying to get more in his tech articles than what we had contracted for. I was trying to explain that he had paid for one package and he wanted the higher priced package - without paying the additional price. Our discussion became heated, so I moved slightly away from the play pen. I didn't want to wake the baby, who had by now, fallen asleep. That's when...she...the defendant moved in. She was waiting just inside, hidden in a small alcove. She saw that my back was to the baby and she moved to the play pen and grabbed her, then ran outside. I heard Johanna scream and saw her run outside. The boys - the band members all ran out with Johanna, behind the defendant. She pushed the baby into the back seat of her car, dropping her blanket. It...it was a cold day that day, so she grabbed the baby's blanket. That's when one of the boys moved in and grabbed the defendant, to keep her from leaving. Laslow, my brother, opened the car from the other side and grabbed the baby and gave her to Johanna. One of us called the police and, from there, the defendant was taken to jail. That's when all of us found out about her friend, Melanie, who had helped her to plan the kidnapping in the first place. Ever since then, we've been just waiting for the trials to begin," Marcus finished.

  The defense attorney begins the defense portion of the criminal trial for Cara. All throughout, he tries to allude to parental neglect and even abuse, saying that Cara's actions were all due to the lack of loving parental care in her childhood. />
  Oh, boo-hoo! I call balderdash. What he's not saying is that Cara was warned, repeatedly, that her actions constituted stalking. She kept stalking my husband. Listen, I may be only 22 years old, but I damn sure know what "stalking" is. And she damn sure stalked Marcus!

  When I hear the defense attorney's assertions and excuses, I really have to work to keep a neutral facial expression. I watch Marcus' hand, which tightens when he hears the excuses.

  Cara is called to the witness stand and is walked through her testimony. She talks about how she first noticed Marcus in school - her accounting sounds like a bad romance novel.

  "I was a school girl in secondary school. I was fat and the kids didn't notice me. They ignored me, so when I saw Marcus and his beautiful, kind green eyes, I liked him immediately. I saw that he was kind to all the kids, even me. I dropped a book. And...and he picked it up and returned it to me. Nobody else would even acknowledge my presence, but Marcus! He gave me back my book! Then we graduated and lost touch. I don't know where he went to university. I went on to vocational school, where I earned my certificate in cooking for large groups. Then, I saw Marcus' name in the paper. He'd married some musical star. Well, it was easy to find out where he'd be, so I bought a ticket for one of the concerts. That's when the police made contact with me - I honestly don't know why! All I wanted to do was to see Marcus, not do any harm to him! Uh, or to his kid. I was able to find where he lived by visiting the public works office. That's when I showed up across the street from his flat. And, when I saw what he drove, it was just that simple to follow him to the store, to the studio, just everywhere."

  "What was your motivation in taking his baby?"

  "I just wanted a chance to talk to him and get to know him again. That's all. I figured, 'Well, if I have the baby, he'll have to seek me out.'

  My blood chills when I hear this and I clasp my arms around me, trying to restore my body's warmth.

  Marcus sees this and he wraps his arm around me.

  Cara looks up just then and, as she spots Marcus' arm wrapped around me, her eyebrows go down and she glowers heavily at me. Marcus, spotting this, tightens his arm around me.

  The defense attorney sees Cara's glower and spins around, looking for its source. When he spots us, he turns back around, casting about for a way to get Cara to stop focusing so strongly on me. Too late!

  "You bitch! You stole him from me! He was supposed to be mine! Skinny little whore! What'd you do? Focus your eyes on him and open your legs for him?" Cara launches into a shrill tirade against me.

  As I hear her hatred and vitriol, I freeze once again. I push into Marcus' side, trying to get away from Cara's hatred.

  Marcus' arms both tighten around me as the magistrate orders Cara to be removed from the court room. We continue to hear her spitting obscenities, screeching and ranting as the guards remove her.

  Both attorneys walk to the magistrate's bench, where they confer. Cara's attorney points at Marcus and me. The prosecuting attorney looks at us as well, then appears to lay into Cara's attorney.

  "I think her attorney is trying to make a case for Cara losing it because I put my arm around you", Marcus murmurs into my ear.

  In answer, I wrap my arm around Marcus' back, still needing the comfort of his arm around me.

  Apparently, the magistrate agrees. Cara's attorney leaves the bench, shaking his head sharply. He then calls me to the stand.

  "Mrs. Hadley, I hadn't intended to call you to the stand until tomorrow, the earliest. Will you tell the court, please, what you felt when your daughter - Liz - "

  "Sir! We had agreed that we would not mention the child's name during trial!" the prosecuting barrister yells.

  "So we did. Sir, if you try to utter the child's name one more time, you will join your client - behind bars."

  Cara's attorney glowers, but he knows the magistrate's words are serious. He gives a huge, put-upon sigh and repeats his question, this time without uttering my daughter's name.

  "I was petrified. I had been seeing your client all over Saint Albans, following my family and me, focusing on and stalking my husband. We had been doing everything we could to protect our child and each other, even moving house from his flat to a temporary residence before we bought our home."

  "So, when you saw her holding your baby and running?"

  "I thought I would never see my child again."

  "Can you see that, in my client's mind, this was the only way for her to gain access to speak to Mr. Hadley? That, very possibly, she intended no harm?"

  When I hear this, it is very difficult for me to control my facial expression, let alone my reaction! I want to jump over the witness stand and bury my fingernails in that man's throat. I swallow hard and sit on top of my hands. Looking at Marcus, I see that he is equally angry and disturbed.

  "Sir, she isn't answering."

  "Sir, that's quite possibly because a young woman who witnesses her infant being kidnapped may have difficulty seeing into the mind and motivations of the kidnapper," says the prosecuting barrister. "I object to that question."

  "I quite agree. Miss - Mrs. Hadley, you do not need to answer that question," says the magistrate.

  My breath leaks out of me. I relax marginally, preparing for the next inane question.

  "Sir, can I see whether my client is able to come back into court?"

  "Yes. If she so much as looks at the Hadleys, she will be going back into a jail cell. Is that clear?"

  "Yes, sir." He goes out with the guards and returns minus Cara. "She is still very...highly upset," he reports.

  In fact, Cara doesn't return to the trial until the next morning. When she walks in, she is still scowling heavily.

  Marcus, sitting next to me, scoots just a little bit closer protectively, but he doesn't wrap his arm around me.

  I have brought my writing pad and a pen. While Cara resumes testifying, I doodle musical notes on it as I listen.

  Her testimony is a recounting of the lack of parenting she received, as she and her attorney strive to paint her as a neglected near-orphan. After she is dismissed back to the witness table, her attorney brings up the question that has been hanging so heavily over the trial - just what is her mental health diagnosis?

  "Sir, my client underwent a court-ordered psychological evaluation shortly after her arrest, as is customary in such cases. In truth, I did not anticipate that she would have a diagnosis - but she does. My client has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and a schizoaffective disorder. Given these diagnoses, it is eminently clear that she is not able to appreciate the solemnity of the actions she took. I will be petitioning the court for a 'not guilty' so she might be housed in a psychiatric hospital.

  As I hear the multiple diagnoses, my eyes widen. This time, however, I simply freeze where I am. I don't scoot any closer to Marcus and I don't look up. However, I sense that he is looking at me, so I turn my gaze to his.

  Marcus is looking pale and scared. Gesturing for my pen and pad, he writes down his thoughts.

  Those are serious conditions! She must not be allowed out of jail because she will continue to come after us. I want to confer with the barrister and tell him this.

  I begin writing.

  Don't you think it would be better if we testified to our feelings and thoughts about her mental health diagnoses? At least then, it's in the record and she might actually get prison time.

  Marcus resumed writing.

  That's true. Let's ask if we can testify again.

  My turn.

  Okay.

  We continued listening as Cara's defense attorney tried his damndest to get the magistrate to consider not sentencing Cara to prison. Then, the magistrate calls Marcus to the stand.

  "Mr. Hadley, you heard the diagnoses. They are quite serious. Are you aware that two of them cannot be treated with medication? And the third can, but the patient must be willing to continue taking her medication every day?"

  "No,
I wasn't, but I do know that what she has is pretty significant."

  "If the defendant were to be released and not required to serve a prison sentence, Mr. Hadley, what do you believe would happen?"

  "In truth? She would come after us again. I have security around our house and the band has security around the studio. It wouldn't be very difficult for a determined, mentally ill woman to get past any defenses I have set up to protect my family. Sir, I am begging you - sentence the defendant to prison!" Here, Marcus had turned to the magistrate as he pleads.

  Finally, the case is given to the jury to decide upon. We learn that it could be days, not hours, before the jury returns with their verdict - then the magistrate has to come back with his ruling. The only things that keeps me from losing my sanity as we wait are Marcus, Lizzie, our upcoming European tour and Melanie's trial, which starts right after Cara's trial.

  Much of what we learned in Melanie's trial has already been covered in Cara's trial, so, except for the days when I must testify in Melanie's trial, I stay away. When the defense puts on its case, I am there every day. I decide that I need to know just as much about her as I now know about Cara. After all, Marcus and I will be expected to testify about the effects of Melanie's actions on our family.

  Melanie's lawyer focuses strongly on her mental health diagnosis, but, now that I know just a little more about borderline personality disorder, I realize that it isn't a mental illness, per se. I also know that Melanie can't take medication and control her condition. She has to want to do so. She has to want to participate in therapy to understand what she has and how to control it on her own. Given that she's got so used to drama and creating havoc in the lives of others, it's unlikely she's going to want to control her disorder. Therefore, we need to know as much as we can about her so we can ask for the stiffest possible sentence. We have a little girl to protect. Melanie and Cara would care nothing for any harm they do to her as long as they can achieve their scummy ends.

  Therefore, Marcus puts a lot of work in, writing and sending articles to his clients in the days before Melanie's defense begins laying out their case. Tim, Linny, Laslow and I put in extra hours of practice so we can be in the courtroom. We are a united presence. As we walk into the courtroom, minus the baby, our entrance causes quite the stir. We sit in one row, with Marcus and I sitting next to each other. Heads crane, looking at us. Finally, the magistrate has to call the entire court room to attention.