Embrace You: Book (Loneliness) Read online

  "Good thought. Okay, I'm in that Ikea shop lot just a few kilometers away from the studio. I've got the doors locked and I'm staying here until the police show up."

  I report this newest wrinkle to the police, who meet Marcus at the Ikea. They get a rough description of the car Cara is driving. Thankfully, the police have kept records of each of our calls and complaints. They are obviously aware that this is an ongoing situation, so they seem to take the threat seriously. But when they come back to the store after a lengthy search, they have only bad news to report - she's gone. And without a license plate, they can't track her to her home or work.

  Marcus comes the rest of the way to the studio once he's been informed that Cara has eluded the police. After he picks me up, we try to relax in Marcus' dad's home. I have a very hard time staying put because I keep remembering Cara's odd-looking friend. Marcus asks me why I'm so antsy, and when I tell him about Mohawk Girl, he agrees that we do need to be careful about each other and Lizzie until both girls have been dealt with. After we agree on this, I feel marginally better. I sit on our couch, cuddling the baby, just wanting to be close to her.

  The boys come to our new home and we have a meeting about what's been happening. As it turns out, Laslow is a veritable font of information about Cara Wells. Apparently, Cara went to school with Marcus and developed quite a big crush on him. Marcus thinks back, but he's unable to remember her, even when he looks through old school yearbooks. This means that Cara's crush is obviously unrequited. Still, she managed to track him down to our old flat and she started following him around. We live in Saint Albans, which is just a suburb of London. It isn't a tiny town, but it's a small-enough that, if someone is determined enough, they can track someone else down.

  Okay, I'm done theorizing about this - I am seriously spooked! First, she remembered Marcus for all these years. On that, I can't exactly blame her. If he's this good-looking now, how did he look as a school boy? What spooks me is when I wonder how she found out where he lives now and what his schedule is! When I think of our little girl, I am hit with severe nausea. I run to the loo, where I am desperately, horribly sick. I come out after several minutes, sweating and pale. Marcus takes one look at me and immediately heats water for some tea.

  I sit down and listen as the boys and Marcus discuss ways of throwing Cara off our trail. We can't live in the studio full-time, but I suggest it anyway. Short of building tall brick walls around our current location and our car, there's not much we can do. We come up with very few ideas. I sip slowly at my tea, wondering what, if anything, we can do.

  The next few weeks are nerve-wracking. The police call to inform us that no progress has been made on finding Cara Wells. They filed a restraining order, but her address on file turned up to be abandoned. We assume she must be staying with the Mohawk Girl, but the police hadn't gotten her name at the concert. Marcus and I sneak back into our flat at night to take our Christmas decorations down - we need to make it look like we're still living there. Every time we're out and about, I'm obsessively checking the wing mirrors to see if she or her friend are following us.

  One day, I'm in at Saint Albans Grocery, buying groceries we need. I have Lizzie loaded in a baby-snuggler tied around me. I'm pushing my cart of groceries back to the car. It's now a habit for me to look everywhere when I go inside or go back outside in public. I spot Cara when I'm leaving the market. I immediately go back into the store, cart and all. I tell the store manager what's happening, then I call the police. While I'm waiting for them to show, I remember - I drove Marcus' car! That's how she tracked me down! I call Marcus and tell him I'm going to be slightly delayed getting home. I peer out the shop window, looking for the police.

  Finally, they show, but Cara has already fled and they are unable to find her. Once I know she's gone, I load my groceries and Lizzie into the car and drive home - fast. I ignore the speed limits. I just want to be at home and in Marcus' arms. When I tell him that she tracked me down by looking for his car, he's not surprised - he's disgusted, but not surprised.

  "Johanna, we need to make an offer on the other house we found. I'm calling the estate agent and put in a bid. I think, if we have a high wall and gate built, we can make ourselves a little safer," says.

  Fortunately, we call on the right day. The estate agent has told us that our bid was accepted and we got the house! We can close on the house in as quick as two weeks! We set up the closing appointment and then we call Marcus' parents. We tell them how Cara tracked me down at the shop today by looking for Marcus' car.

  "Mum, dad, our bid was accepted to buy an estate in downtown Saint Albans. Obviously, with this nutcase following us all over the place, we need to increase our protection. I'm going to find a contractor to build a high brick wall all around the property, with an automatic gate. In the meantime, what do we do about my car? Should we go ahead and buy a new one?" Marcus asks.

  "Simple," says Marcus' dad, Gerald. "We do a switch. You use one of our cars and we use yours."

  "Well, Gerald, that takes the heat off of us. But what about when she spots it and you're driving it?" I ask.

  "Again, Jo, that's a simple solution. We paint it a different color - if Marcus doesn't mind. We'll, in effect, make his car disappear. Change the license plate on the boot and, voila! It's gone."

  Thank God for clear, un-panicked heads! It's perfect! That week, Marcus and his parents put the car switch into effect. His dad signs the car over to us and we set up the insurance. Dad takes Marcus' car to a car shop and has it painted a completely different color, then he goes to the motor vehicle office and changes the registration, asking for a different license plate.

  I feel a bit better now. We're in a "new" car and we're going to move - again. First, Marcus finds a contractor, who agrees to build a wall all round our new property. This won't be just any wall. It will be ten feet high, with a car entrance on the main road and a secondary one connecting to the small alley behind our back yard. The gates will be electronic, with a keypad and a code required for entry. Marcus and I will be the only ones in possession of that code. Marcus pays quite a down payment, asking the contractor to start on the wall and gate straightaway. Now, I feel more secure. With all of this decided and done, we call a moving company and sign a contract to help us move house yet again.

  With all the kerfuffle going on, my mum wants to hold a housewarming party. I'm all for that - until Marcus and Tim remind me that I'm a public figure now. News of the housewarming and our new address will be reported in all the rags, so that idea goes down the tubes.

  I'm nearly crying when I have to tell mum we can't have a party. She is, too. Instead, she suggests that she and my family will bring housewarming gifts - with no party. I'm not a hateful person, generally. I mean, I have my moments of frustration or anger, but in this one, I can honestly say I think I hate this Cara person. She's ruining what should be one of the happiest moments of our lives, bar Lizzie's birth.

  Finally, the movers come and load all our things. Marcus and I separate out everything we need immediately for Lizzie and store that in our "new" car. It takes us the whole day to move house and, thankfully, the moving guys actually put our furniture where we want it. That means that all Marcus and I have to do is empty boxes, put dishes away and hang things on the walls. Our parents and families follow the moving van in and help us get everything put away. They also bring the gifts they had intended to give us during that housewarming party. After everything is put away, we pick up take away meals and that's our "housewarming party." Everyone leaves quietly after Marcus unlocks the back gate.

  I do have to admit that I feel much, much safer in our new home. That ten-foot wall with electronic gate goes far toward that feeling. This means that if anyone like Cara or her ilk try to snoop around our property, they'll have a right difficult time of figuring out which house belongs to the Hadleys. And that's exactly as I want it.

  Once Marcus, Lizzie and I are safely ensconced in our new home, we feed the baby, change her
nappy and tuck her into bed for part of the night. She's still waking for night feedings and will for a while. We sit in the living room, in front of a very comfortable fire and relax. Soon, we're creating a fire of our own.

  Marcus has begun playing my body like a musical instrument. His fingers play over my back, shoulders, breasts and in between my legs. I climb onto his lap and begin unbuttoning his pants and shirt. My fingers make very short work of his belt and soon he's bare-chested, giving me a much larger playing field. I begin licking and nuzzling his nipples and he lets out a low roar of desire.

  Marcus allows his fingers to go wild. He rips my old sweater off over my head and opens my bra, giving him easy access to my tits. Before he goes for them, he lifts me off his lap and feverishly pulls my pants and thong down my hips and legs. He slips his fingers in between my legs once again and begins playing with my clit and pussy. Knowing what's about to happen, I pull the old afghan from the back of the couch and tell Marcus to stand for a minute. I drop the afghan over the couch and we lie down on it. I play with Marcus' body and he plays with mine. Soon, we're both coming. I sob as I come repeatedly - the warmth and shimmering sensations echo the love I feel for this man.

  Soon we make our way up to the bedroom. Marcus begins sucking and licking at my clit and I come hard all over again. I kiss and lick my way down his body until I am cupping his balls in my hand and sucking on the tip of his penis. I hear my beloved husband grunting as the sensations multiply inside his beautiful body. We play with each other's bodies until we both come explosively once more. Exhausted from my day's efforts, I fall asleep heavily...until I feel Marcus' hands roaming over my body just a few hours later. We make love yet again, this time, with Marcus buried deep inside me. I don't have to worry about becoming pregnant again - my midwife recommended a form of contraception that doesn't affect Lizzie while I'm breast feeding her. I'm thankful for this, because I fully intend to make love to Marcus whenever I can! And I know he intends to do the same with me.

  That following Monday, we're at our next practice. Tim wants to have a meeting before we start.

  "Okay, all, I wanted to give everyone an update on the album. As you know, it has been significantly delayed since the accident with Gemma. Although we had intended it to be ready by Lizzy's birth, it appears it will have to wait a few more months. The good news is the mixing process is coming along well. The sound engineers believe it's going to be a kick-ass album and they say that mixing should be done within the next few weeks or months. Nigel is working on the cover and dedications. Once all this is done, we'll be able to talk about a release date and a CD release party!

  "Next, Johanna, Marcus and the baby are all moved into their new home. Suffice it to say, the stalker is still out there, so we will all still need to exercise the highest level of caution until that person has been dealt with. It goes without saying that their new address must stay completely confidential.

  "Nigel has set up several new concerts throughout Europe. We start on our new tour in ten months, so we will need to practice hard! Starting today," Tim encourages us.

  Once the meeting ends, we start working on the play sets we intend to present to our European audiences. We go over each song repeatedly, isolating sections where we are having trouble or where we aren't playing as crisply as we could be. By the end of that day, I am worn out and my voice is hoarse.

  Chapter 4

  I continue to feel safe moving from my new home to the studio and around town - but I slowly become aware of a niggling feeling of being watched. Marcus and I discuss this and we both realize that we have the same feeling. I nestle into his side, crying. I had so hoped that the stalking had ended!

  We resume checking around us wherever we go - the store, studio, bank, family gatherings, everywhere. Marcus suggests we call a security expert to help us protect our family.

  "Anything! I just want this crazy woman caught and put away!" I say.

  We call around and interview several security companies, all of which suggest alarm systems and security cameras. Some also suggest motion-activated lights and silent alarms to the police department. Marcus and I decide which one to invite to come to the house. After interviewing several, we hire the company that gives us the best deal on the equipment and services.

  One week later, the new security equipment has been installed. Our silent alarm notifies our police department, which will send officers in the event that Cara manages to get into our house.

  Our practices and preparation for our European tour continue and we slowly progress through refining each song in every one of our practice sets. When we leave the house and come home, our security systems are completely armed. Thankfully, Marcus still works at home full-time. But, until Cara is captured and put behind bars permanently, I won't completely relax. As far as I'm concerned, no security measures, other than caution and common sense, can outsmart a mentally ill, determined person.

  One cool and breezy day, Marcus, the baby, and I go to the practice studio. Marcus has decided he's going to start working from there again. Tim has given him permission and a small area where he can set up his computer and notes. I have the baby close by me while we practice. The sounds of our music lull her to sleep and, when she's hungry, she lets me know. I have a play pen at the studio that Lizzie sleeps and plays in while we're working on our songs. Now that Marcus is working from the studio, we place the play pen near him so he can hear her if she needs him. We think this is the ideal set up.

  After a feeding break for Lizzie, I change her dirty nappy and set her into her play pen for a nap. She's close by Marcus, so she goes right off to sleep. After drinking from my bottle of water and giving my baby and husband kisses, I return to the guys. We resume working on the song we've been working on. Now that we've had a break, we start to make more progress on it. I look over to see Marcus talking on the phone with a client. My attention returns to the business at hand. I look at Marcus. He seems to be frustrated. He stands. Moves away from the baby. I keep practicing.

  Next I know, I see a short, fat woman stooping over the play pen and - scooping up my baby! I scream! Marcus runs back and disconnects his call. He calls the police department. Meantime, Lizzie feels strange hands lifting her and she begins to wail loudly. Everyone looks at the play pen and we see Cara tuck the baby under her arm as she begins running out of the studio. Tim also calls the police while Laslow and Linny run outside after Cara.

  Laslow spots her first, pushing the baby into the back of her car. Because it's a cold, windy, unsettled day, Lizzie has been wrapped up in one of her warmer blankets. Cara drops this blanket and she takes the few seconds to bend down and grab the blanket. This gives Laslow the precious few second he needs to catch up to her. Tim and Linny both consider themselves to be Lizzie's honorary uncles. This means that all three of the baby's uncles catch up to Cara, surrounding her car. Tim makes her open the back door while Linny grabs her wrist and wrestles her car keys out of her hand. Once the keys are safely out of her hand, Laslow dives into her car and grabs his baby niece. She is now thoroughly frightened and angered, and she's not troubling to hide her feelings. She wails louder than I have ever heard her cry before! Thank God! I have never heard such a sweet sound!

  I'm crying myself as I run up to my brother-in-law, who gives Lizzie to me. Marcus is also crying. He runs up to the two of us and enfolds us in his big arms.

  "Johanna, Lizzie, I'm so sorry! I didn't know she was in the studio! I didn't want to wake Lizzie - I was arguing with a client who wanted more than what he'd paid me for!"

  "Marcus. Marcus! It's okay, luv. I know you'd never intentionally put her in harm's way. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at...her!" I point to Cara with my chin, not wanting to use profanities around Lizzie. Because I feel the anger beginning to grow, I put Lizzie into Marcus' arms and I march straight up to Cara. I get straight into her face and give her holy hell. I'm right in that fat bitch's face, giving her everything I've got!

  "I don't know who the fuck
you are and, what's more, I don't give a flying damn! I saw you at the December concert, staring at my husband and I had the feeling back then that you were bad news. The police have talked to you, repeatedly, telling you to stay away from Marcus - and you've refused to do so! He fucking doesn't want anything to do with you, bitch! You forced us to leave our flat and hide out! Go to several thousand pounds of expense to make our house safer for us and our baby! And still, you continued to find and stalk us! Why! Come on! Tell me: Why?"

  Cara is at a loss for words. I don't think she expected a wee thing like me to have any metaphorical balls of my own. Her mouth opens and closes like that of a fat fish and her eyes blink. Then,"I've always loved Marcus. Ever since secondary school, when I first met him. I always thought he was so hot. I intended to get him and make him mine - but he left town, I guess to start school. Then I found him again, when I read that he'd married you. I want him! He's...he's a beautiful-lookin' man. I've cleaned up since school...I think he'd like what he sees."

  "You've 'cleaned up' since school? What did you look like back then?"

  "I was fatter, but I've lost some weight since then. I've dyed my hair and I have body art."

  My jaw drops. Now I am speechless!

  "Cara. I don't remember you. Period. And, even if I were to remember you, I don't find you attractive in the slightest. If you've lost weight, you've either probably gained a good bit of it back - or you were much heavier than you are now. I'm going to tell you as bluntly as I know how: I don't find you attractive not because of the weight, but because you're just not my type. At all. You have no chance against my wife," says Marcus.

  I hear what Cara, then Marcus has to say, then I am completely relieved. I look at my husband, seeing him rock and comfort our still-upset infant. Looking at Lizzie's would-be demented kidnapper, I unload on her just as several police cars converge on the studio.